Sunday August 30

This daily thing is just not working out. Weekly? Too long in between. I'll update when anything besides myself describing the day in class happens.

As it happens I forgot to post several days ago about Michael Ruhlman came to speak at the CIA.

Comming to the CIA I, like many students, thought they had a leg up. I, like many other students, did not know what they were getting into. I came to the CIA as blind as could possibly be, but I take pride in this. It means I can absorb new information without any old interfering. However, coming into a Culinary School and not knowing who Julia Child is is a much more drastic thing than I ever could have imagined. Michael Ruhlman is the same blank name to me, was until I heard the man speak.

For anyone out there as ignorant as I, Michael Ruhlman is the author of The Making of a Chef, The Soul of a Chef, and Ratios, along with so many other books. When this man came to speak not only was every seat occupied but the stairs themselves had people sitting down anxiously awaiting this man speak for 30 minutes. I, lucky enough to be in the second row, eagerly observed this man of about 6'2, brunette, young, in jeans and a blue tshirt, sweep his eyes over his audience. I mistook his look as fear.

Michael Ruhlman was introduced in the same mediocre fashion "If I could describe in one word...." Ironically the word chosen to describe Michael Ruhlman was curious for I was madly curious about this man. He graduated from the CIA in 1998, less than 10 years has passed and now he is a famous author. He isn't an author of just food novels either, he writes about what he is passionate about, and is successful.

As he approached the audience he spoke with a loud powerful voice, speaking of obsession and passion with this drive to convince his audience. He spoke as though he had some serious message to convey and his words did not let him down. He spoke of his happiness, of the joy and love he feels for life every day doing what he loves. He might have been trying to speak to the hundreds of hungry faces watching him in that auditorium but he definitely spoke to me. He made me realize I could still write and cook, that as long as I had the drive I could do what ever I pleased, and I would be happy doing so.

At the end of the powerful but short lecture I concentrated on telling this man thank you. (By some odd chance I actually owned one of this man's books and stood in line to have it signed). I wanted to be able to place myself apart from the crowd, away from the listeners who say thank you out of edict or away from the listeners who say thank you out of being purely fans. I wanted to be able to convince this man that he helped me, that he had but a nerve at ease. However when I finally handed him my book to the man to sign it didn't matter how hard I grasped his hand or how serious I said thank you, the only feeling I got in return was exhaustion. The poor man had been signing all day and just wanted to get home I'm sure. I regret that Michael Ruhlman didn't know how much he had helped me, but I am glad I attended the lecture. The CIA does so many things right and one of them is opportunity. Every little opportunity prepares you for a larger one and the opportunity to see this chef speak gave me and my education motivation and hope. All to add up to a bigger opportunity someday.

Day 28

Class at 7 and now my throat is white. I remind myself of the "cotton mouth" snakes that my father always warned me of in the back yard. I make it though class of peppers and tomatoes and run to the nurse. The nurse, thankfully, is just as furious as I am that the doctors hasn't given me anything. She calls the hospital and I drive myself to the emergency room again. After 20 minutes I am advised about two tests and given a prescription for antibiotics.

The worst thing about this weekend. I am in a culinary school and am in pain when I eat. Today was my first day to attempt to eat-I haven't eaten since Friday night- and it was not a pleasant experience. Instead I just enjoy my company and go to math.

Every one has "nodded off" during class, I am not exception. But I have never slept through an entire class...before today. I had the "nodding off" feeling, you know the jerk of the head in an effort to stay awake, but this time when I jerk my head up the clock has gone past an hour. I feel awful that I slept but my body apparently needs some sleep.

Picking up my prescription reminds me how much I love Hyde Park. The gentleman not only held a light, friendly conversation, but did everything he could to help me in his establishment. The kindness I receive up here is amazing and refreshing. I make it back to my room and fall asleep. When I awake at 8 my body is refreshed but I do not want to be someplace loud or moving, I do not want to be alone either. Thankfully a friend offered an escape. I had a night of couch side TV watching, it all goes back to the small things, no?

Day 27

To wake up on a Sunday morning with a screaming hang over when you haven't had a drink for weeks is certainly an unpleasant one. When the chef last night said to cater at night leads to a hang over in the morning, I took her meaning quite differently. My head pulsed uncomfortably feeling as though my heart had dislodged and decided to make itself at home in my skull. Every muscle in my body felt like a rock thrown at the wall too many times. As I moved shocks of pain shot up my legs into my stomach and my fever threw my body into hysterics. I called a friend and was rushed to the emergency room. Five hours past by, myself slipping in and out of sleep, the doctor had taken a strep test and sent me home after coming out negative. My anger was a stone in my stomach and no amount of my energy would be wasted to bring it up. I went to bed early to toss and turn, this time without a fever.

Day 26

Let me start off with a sincere apology. It is not very well hidden that I have not updated for 10 straight days. Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me. Julia Child may say never apologize but Julia Child did not miss updating her blog for 10 straight days, so forgive me.

Day 26 was a Saturday and a doosey. I woke up Saturday morning excited for my first real kitchen experience, I was going to help cater a wedding. However I could not shout for joy, but throat was awfully sore. Not only could my body have not have chosen a worse day to not work functionally, but I had been eating right, sleeping full 8 hours a night, exercising, and taking 4 daily vitamins a day. As I went into the restroom to shower and freshen up I realize my body was not making a false alarm. Inside my mouth was a lovely, swollen, purple.....bloody thing, it was absolutely awful- especially coming from a woman. When men seem to have disgusting injuries it is worn for pride and the young man is now seen as rebellious and socially defying. It is not lady like to have such an injury so when pity is sought it is very hard to receive when one refuses to show the injury.

The campus nurse is not open on such a Saturday it seems and the local doctor does not take small business healthy insurance, let me assure you. By the time the wedding rolled around I must face a decision. In any story telling situation, the decision is clear. I should not have gone to the wedding, that would have been the responsible decision. However, faced in such a situation it was my first opportunity, the chef had my name, canceling on the day would be unprofessional, and I needed the money. I went to said wedding.

In the email in which I accepted the position to wait the wedding the description was a paid amount per hour from 6-8. However in a phone call I needed to arrive at 3. My total working hours were from 3-1, 10 hours straight. To cater, is to fight. My respect for caterers has skyrocketed. The work is hard. There is not one single moment, or place, in which you may sit or eat (due to my throat I did not eat all day and was significantly weaker than I am in full health), and you must be as friendly as absolutely possible, especially at a wedding. Being completely new I needed to comply to all of this and never found a spare moment to drink, I was dangerously dehydrated. In a word, this wedding was hell, to say kindly. Normally this would scare me away. However I did it. I worked a ten hour shift, no break, no food, no water, no health. I worked through the personalities of the chef and the customers. I worked on the verge of tears and did not dare complain once- I did very loudly in my car later. But I did it. I am not scared away, but I am not motivated. I am curious.

I went to bed this night in the sweat and frigid shivers of a fever. My body lay motionless on my bed to await a new day.

Day 21

I feel bad. Today I woke up, looked over in my roommate's bed and thought she wasn't there. In that fact I called Zax and after putting him on speaker while I ate my cereal in peace, poor Katelyn rolled out of bed not very happy with me. I don't blame her.

Today I set aside everything to catch up on homework. And by catch up on homework I mean, clean my room, do my dishes, wash my laundry, check my email, go out for lunch, call my father, and THEN did 2 chapters of homework before convincing myself that going outside and taking pictures of the campus was more worth my time. My day was one of procrastination. I feel awful but I needed one day to myself. After my day I accepted another invite to dinner. Me and 9 other friends went to a very popular diner. I had a milkshake and breakfast and ate way too much. I need to stop doing that.

Not a busy day, but a nice solitary one.

Day 20

Again, another awful night. I can't sleep and if I do I have nightmares. Waking up completely disoriented at 8 I fulfilled my promise to go to the farmer's market. I'm glad I did and I'm secretly glad it was just me and another girl friend. I was almost experiencing social over load and being around one person was just enough.

She and I found the farmer's market after being lost several times. When we arrived I was in heaven. I had to remind myself that I had a dorm fridge so things like basil and tomatoes could not be in the picture. Instead I bought some whole, grass-fed, real milk for my cereal; soft dill cheese, honey, ciabatta bread, asiago bread, and a brownie. That should keep my fridge full of things I would gladly eat, quickly. After we dropped all this off, we went to Target to find some dorm room necessities, like a water pitcher. We ran more errands, finding a birthday cake, and decorating a dorm door was one of them. Then she and I went swimming- I'm not kidding. After swimming we caught up with the big group, had dinner, had ice cream, watched a movie, and then I finally got to go to bed. Doesn't sound like much but believe me- I haven't been alone, except to sleep, since friday night.

Day 19

I slept in today, woke with sluggish joy, and made myself walk to the Court Side Cafe for lunch. As I did so a friend grabbed me and invited me to go berry picking. I didn't have any plans for the day- so what the hell. It sounded fun. After we grabbed several more people, we filled up another car and took off for an unknown farm.

We turned off the highway down a picture perfect road. It was paved with dirt and lined with green grass that spread out for acres on each side. A single line trees jutted high above our car and let a few windows of blue peak through. We pulled up to a tiny house with a black lab- that made me long for my own- running along the side of the car. It wasn't the farm we first had in mind but the woman kindly told us we could pick peaches, apples, and raspberries. Excited, we all made our way with Frankie, the black lab, to the peach orchard. We put our Product Knowledge....knowledge to the test and tried to pick out the most beautiful peaches and in our luck we found a soft, ripe peach we all took a sun-warmed bite and laughed watching the juice dribble down other's chins. Our sticky hands marked us as the thieves we were but the warm, sweetly tangy fruit was amazingly worth it. I was separated for only a few beats. In these precious moments I was walking down the hill in between the rows of peach trees, looking out over the rest of the farm, with the bluest clearest sky over head. I watched new found friends laugh and walk ahead. I had another stolen peach in my hand and as I ate the rest of the delicious fruit, I realized how blessed i was. I was truly happy and the warm sun that the peach had bathed in now filled me and made me smile and take thanks for where I was.

We picked apples- too starchy to be valued- and then raspberries. Being a raspberry fanatic, I was in love. I loved picking the varieties of red, purple, and white raspberries; tasting the difference, and watching to see which ones were sweet enough to gently tease off the bush and which ones still clung one until maturity. Much like life, if we struggle to do something we are not yet ready, but if we can fall into what ever is offered then we are old enough to see the world, instead of clinging to the safety of our branches. I feel philosophical today, can you tell?

After we gathered our gold we talked- like nerdy culinarians do- about what we could possibly cook with them. We then decided, what better than a cook out?

We spent 3 hours in Walmart trying to but such a feast together and Lord in Heaven did we. We had chicken wings, 10 pounds of hamburger, macaroni salad (my own contribution), potato chips, soda, key lime pie, raspberry cheese cake, and there had to be more. After we all fell deeply into a food coma we started offering our food to those smoking in the gazebos. We were a very popular group. Unfortunately we still through out a heart breaking amount and I went to bed- I had been up and about since 10 that morning- it had been a long day.

Day 18

Again today is foggy, for again I could not update about today until several days past. I woke up early with good intentions on going to Product Knowledge early to help out with the stewarding. For some odd reason I talked myself out of it and spent my breakfast catching up on my blog. PK came around and it was mushroom day! Oh, what a day! I love mushrooms but had know idea there were mushrooms other than button! I'm completely kidding of course....I've had shiitake. The experience of tasting all the different varieties of mushrooms, unknown to me, was fascinating. I never knew the delicacy of oyster mushrooms or the meaty earth of morels.

As I said, in between classes is a blur, but I'd like to think I did something useful. After doing something useful I went to math and let me tell you, sitting in an empty class trying to be a good student is horribly demotivating. Our professor let us out early and I decided I would stay and complete my study guide. It lasted maybe 5 minutes before I took off as well.

Lunch was another experience. Yesterday I saw a girl wearing a shirt very similar to one I have, that I like very much. Today I wore mine. It is a very high in the neck shirt, low in the waist, and not form fitting at all. It does however show off one's shoulders quite well. The dress code is business casual- minus the exposed shoulders. This not being a provocative shirt I thought it would be a safe decision. As it was the first turn over of the new classes the students in the kitchen were instructed to be as strict as possible. I walked in, ready for a burger of CIA expectations and was told that I could not be served. In embarrassment I went back to sit with some friends trying to feign my mind away from what just happened. Lucky a man came over, apologized for overhearing and said the chef apologized and said I could eat. After he and I went back and forth about me actually being hungry I went back to the kitchen, was apologized to yet again, and told that my shirt was an exception. So you never know.

Right before Writing I went down to the mail room and delightfully found a care package waiting for me. I hiked up to my class before opening it and did so with joy. If any parents read this- always send packages to your students away- even if it is just black socks- its greatly improves their day. Writing started off with its slow, slow pace. When it finally started picking up-even those who sleep through it were awake and active- our teacher asked us to stop and that this wasn't freshman writing level, it was much higher, so she brought up Twilight. Oh what a world.

After all my classes were done a group of friends and I went to the gym and then to the movies. A night that ended with an exhausted writer and a start to a weekend that was fun with a never ending moment.

Day 17

Today had an interesting start. I tossed and turned all night, couldn't rest my mind enough to sleep. When I finally did I had nothing but nightmares- and its true when they say the mind sorts the thoughts in sleep. I didn't dream about anything except what I was worried about. I clearly remember in one I had "finally gotten to sleep" and woke up exceedingly late. One of my new found friends was in my dorm room, at my computer, and I asked him how late I had slept. He told me 7. I panicked and asked if it was am or pm, when he gave me a funny look and said pm I jumped out of bed. You see in my dream I had that wedding event I told you I applied for a while back that started at 7. When I woke up it was 7:40 am on my clock, I was relieved but very disoriented. I was convinced it was Saturday (it was Thursday) and I had now idea why my room mate wanted to get up at 5 in the morning or why I had gone to bed so early the "Friday" night before.

Disappointed I didn't sleep in, or even get valuable sleep the time I was, I drug myself to the shower. When I returned to my dorm my cell rang reminding me I had to meet to learn more about Ben and Jerry. Luckily the ring was my partner saying he was going to be late- thank God, so was I. Oddly enough, I found more about Ben of the Ben and Jerry and felt my research accomplished- now all I have to do is read "Double Dipped" and I think I have accumulated enough information to fill a power point to my liking.

Lunch was interesting today. In the CIA we have a graduation every 3 weeks, as do we have new students. Thursday (today) and Friday the banquette is closed because the student staff is practicing for graduation. Monday we will not have school so new students may move in. My fellow fiends and I did not know this. We all made it, on time, to a very empty banquette room before heading back to Farquarson, the hall we normally eat dinner in. The hall was grander than it normally presents itself. The middle of the room was lined with table after table of all the different kitchens and classes preparing small tasting plates at the ready. Bread mounded on a table in the back to add majestic height and breath taking desserts outlined the edges of the hall.

Afterwords a friend and I wasted the rest of the day. She and I migrated from my dorm to the gym back to my dorm just girl talking and filling up time before class- I even caught caught up on my blog. Class came and I soaked up every word she provided- her knowledge and presentation is fascinating. However everything today was trivial until dinner.

Dinner, I foolishly thought, would be the same as everyday. I thought that until I saw lobster listed in the window. I swiped my card and stood in line- unfortunately it was a foolish move. I've never liked lobster, I don't think I've had it prepared right. Again, it was bland and over cooked- however, I could taste more of the natural sweetness the meat offers in comparison to the other lobster I've had. This gives me hope. The kitchen I received the lobster from has never impressed me, but given the chance another kitchen might prepare it and I get a delicious treat. Again I made my way into the Farquarson Hall and realized that the celebration was still going on. In my glowing happiness I gathered a few of the tasting plates from this display. I gathered sushi, tamales, and guacamole. I ate feeling as lucky as can be, cleansed my palate with some artisan bread, and adventured to the dessert booths. I stacked up pomegranate sorbet, chocolate-pistachio moose, and creme brulee. I was in heaven of gluttoness sin and joy.

Food safety came by and we got our tests back. I made a 92%, very proud of my grade. Class was delightful as we had group work and me and my group were anything but professional.

Night came and I feel compromised. I promised a friend I would make it to W.O.R.D (World of Random Dancing) that night but on my way to the evening I got caught up in a conversation with another friend. I do not regret staying for the conversation, I needed it, but I do regret promising my other friend I would go. I don't like feeling flaky, I just have a little too much on my plate right now.

Day 16

Today I went to product knowledge bright and early for breakfast. I wasn't a steward today but watched as hell broke loose. One of my friends was a steward, he was late. The other three didn't even bother to show up. The moral of this story: if I would have shown up early-besides the fact that I wasn't a steward- I could have jumped in and further impressed the chef. I'm going to start doing this and strongly urge anyone who will attend the CIA to do the same.

Lunch is getting to almost be planned and I feel very happy about my "group". We are now larger to take up more than one table (of 6).

After lunch we all migrated to find the office giving out our chef whites- which made me ecstatic. My chef coats made me feel pretty actually- compared to the huge chef whites my previous job provided for me. The fit me just right and made me look like that I actually had a waist. My chef pants were big on me- BIG ON ME! I was so happy! I need to return them in a week, and I haven't tried on anything else- but the word around town is I need to because the vests are unisex and the small are too big on medium girls like me. I ordered a medium.

Math also boost my confidence. I felt like I didn't understand the lesson in the beginning, but given the opportunity to do the problems by myself I did them all correctly.

Writing was grueling as I predict the rest of the 14 weeks will be. The topic is completely unrelated, elementary, and-to a point- offensive. I bit my tongue-quite literally- throughout the entire class.

After class I worked off my frustration and carrot cake with some intense games of pool, fuse ball, ping pong, and racket ball.

Day 15

Even though today was my sleep in day I woke up early. Some friends and I woke up to go to the store room and witness "receiving", a process in which a restaurant receives the produce from its provider. It is suggested to students to be able to learn more about the procedure and how to determine the quality of your produce. It was a wonderful experience, you can really understand how much this school considers itself a school. The workers politely kept us out of the way but we could still see everything. When something was going to be sent back one man would call us over and ask us why the produce was no good. If we couldn't answer he'd show us and explain, and enjoyed doing so.

After the storage room my partner in gastronomy and I decided to start on our Ben and Jerry's project. I never knew there was so much about Ben and Jerry's ice cream. That is all I can say.

Today was also the career fair. I've made it my goal to go to every single career fair offered. Even though I am no where near graduating, it never hurts to explore and research, and those who show up regularly get recognized. When I went I noticed there were two kinds of companies and I wasn't going to give one the time of day. This is a prestigious college, the students that graduated are well trained and wanted. As I walked in the first booth had a chef great me kindly and professionally, introducing himself and his business. He asked me my name, how far along I was in the program, when I was graduating, and what I was interested in. He sold his business very well and he has my respect and consideration. Most booths did the same, however some sat behind their tables, arm crossed, and barely made eye contact. I approached one. Introduced myself and getting to shake his hand was like pulling teeth. I told him my name, where I was in the program, when I was graduating, and what I was interested in. I told him that I was a new student and didn't know what I wanted to do and what his business was. He told me fine dining. With that I told him it was a pleasure to meet him and left. All and all the career fair was a good experience. I got a lot of advice, plenty of friendly faces, and I gave out one resume.

Classes start at 4 and gastronomy lets us out an hour early. I wasn't feeling well and blame dehydration but I enjoyed my long dinner. After which, we all went up to food safety and had another first test/quiz awaiting us. Again, I was the first one done and I feel confident.

Tonight we took it easy. We went to a friend's room and watch a movie with Oreos and peanut butter (a culinary MASTERPIECE) and popcorn. After the movie I went straight to bed. I was exhausted.

Day 14

Monday morning, last day of stewarding. I'm going to miss it, but today I think I impressed my chef- I tried my damnedest. Today we had a lot to taste therefore a lot to prepare. As I was running around trying to make everything perfect I realized one steward didn't show up at all and the three others were in the back doing their jobs. I was the only steward in the "front of the house". I kept trying to finish what I was doing to go back and help them but the chef kept asking me to do more things up front- I was very pleased with myself. I felt accomplished and like I was getting things done. Oh! We also had a quiz today in product knowledge, I was the first one done and I feel confident about my answer.

I updated my resume today and checked my CIA email, every student has one. Along with all the club information and campus wide emails, students are also emailed unique job offers. One time deals, that pay well, and normally end on a weekend. In my excitement I applied for three. One wedding, one engagement party, and one food and wine festival. The wedding accepted me as a server and the so did the food and wine festival, in fact the food and wine festival was so excited that I applied early I was put on for two days instead of just one. I am still awaiting confirmation on the engagement party. The best part of these opportunities is you a) get your name out there b) get your face out there c) get better experience and pay than an on campus job and d) get to manage your own hours. I feel like I'm my own boss and very excited for my freedom.

In math we got our first test results back and I only missed 2. The last one that I completely guessed on (after my calculator decided to ruin our years of friendship in the last two problems of my test) and the other was one that I had actually worked out two different ways and got the same answer. I wish I could have gotten the actual test back to see how I went wrong. Today was also carrot day. We got to play with the yield you loose when preparing food. We did this by weighing carrots as bought then after trim and peeling. Turns out everyone got near a 80% yield. Fascinating.

My easy day (because I was done with my classes) soon turned to frustration. I researched my externship information and instead of that calming me I panicked. I felt like I still had so much to do and so little time. I caught up with my laundry and organized my room. Cleaning makes me feel like my life is in much more order than it actually is.

Day 13

Its Sunday, and I'm finally caught up with my blog. Today I woke up late, sunburt, blistered, and sore. I called my mother and went to church.

After church I decided to go to the school luau. I met up with David, a friend of mine that I really click with. He's having a hard time, and being years older than many of the kids on campus I can understand him feeling isolated. The luau passed and some friends and I played a game a frisbee, went to see Julie and Julia, then had dinner.

Julie and Julia was a wonderful movie. I loved how you watched both people go through real conflicts. You witnessed real human interaction, and learned the power of love that people supporting you feel, but the only person that can accomplish your goals are you.

This was my day and now I must catch up on homework- hopefully this week I won't get so blogged down.

Day 12

Today I woke up at 7 to go to the city! We got a group of 10 people together to get a discount train ticket and left Poughkeepskie at 9:30 (4 people drove to the train station). When we got to Grand Central we automatically lost 2 people- 1 of which we expected to catch up to later that day.

We walked outside and decided our first goal was to find brunch (its about 11:30). We wondered aimlessly around the city, taking in the surroundings, watching a marathon of cycles, scooters, and rollerbladers go by, basking in the sun. As stomachs started to growl we became less picky and migrated into a Jewish diner. They had such things as tongue sandwiches and egg cream drink. Some people in our group got the fun foreign food and shared bites. I had a cheeseburger and onion rings. I needed some greasy food after weeks and weeks of gourmet food. We were stuffed

Afterwords we went to little Italy (after an hour of walking we finally found it). Stomachs a little less than full we decided gelato from little Italy would be perfect. The gelato was great in my mind and we headed for China town.

Now, I love my friends back home with every fiber of my body, but having a day being with other culinarians made me realize somethings I would never think of suggesting to do was really fun and fulfilled a part of me once ignored. In China Town we went in and out of meat markets, fish markets, and produce stands. We found pig feet, hanging chickens, cooked fish blood, fuzzy cucumbers. It was wonderfully satisfying to a part of my soul that wasn't hungry until fed. We played in the markets before finding a cute china restaurant for dim sum. Now I don't know how well informed my readers are if I have any-but I had no idea what dim sum even was. I was in for the best surprise of my life. 7 of us all sat around a white tabled clothed table with red walls (we lost one back in Little Italy). As Chinese waiters and waitress all gathered around with trays of food and yelling their titles at us Leslie and Dillion took control and started yelling back, saying which tray to leave and what tray to take away. As we passed around familiar food like dumplings and foreign food like shrimp stuffed rice noodles, the pace and adrenaline gave me a high that made me buzz and glow.

After little china we took off for the financial district, checked out ground zero, and then took the subway back to east village. In east village we went to a coffee shop in the gay village and gloried in the stereotypical chic coffee shop for a rest. As we did so we discovered we had eaten on the hour almost every hour. After the sun had gone down a little we found a Spanish restaurant in the hipster part of NYC and shared 7 tapas. Again the conversation was ever flowing and wonderful.

As the city lit up with the setting of the sun and the rising of night life we made our way to time square. When we arrived I was in awe. I felt so small, so big. The lights were so bright it felt like day light and the world felt so... in that moment.

That moment passed and we found an American diner for our last go around of New York Cheesecake. Again the conversation was vibrant and I laughed so hard that I made no sound. You know that laugh? The best laugh in the world? Your entire body spasms and just the fact that you cannot stop laughing spurs more laughter. As I grabbed my white napkin to wipe away tears off came a beautiful eyelash shaped black smudge, which brought the laughter back.

The night waned on and after several sequences of events half the group ended up back at Grand Central Station (found the guy who we lost in Little Italy). Communication strained and the clock ticked. Finally the half group checked train times. One train left at 11:12 and another at 12:08. It was 11. We waited in line until we discovered a room full of ticket machines. We bought tickets. It was 11:08. The other half runs across the plaza to buy their own, 11:09. All but me, Alex, and Leslie were at the train. Leslie had trouble getting his card to be approved, Alex was with me because my knee gave out earlier. Finally I get it to transition for him, including a girl next to him taking the 11:12 train to Poughkeepskie as well. 11:10 We get the ticket and run to the train. 11:12 We sit as the train starts to move. 1:3o we land in our room.

Day 11

Today I woke up early to be a steward! I am so excited! In product knowledge you taste food everyday and need to prepare it. To save the chef on tedious work he assigns stewards to chop and separate produce. I was very much looking forward to it and showed up half an hour early. Although I know I didn't impress the chef or anything close but I felt important and oddly calm. Standing in a silent room sliding a knife through a piece of fruit with the ease of a wave brought me peace.

Math was next and my first test. Before class I made a to-do list of everything I needed to do including homework, research, and room care. Instead of calming me down I went into a mini panic attack and could not think logically or reasonably throughout math. Ironically I feel confident about the test...until my calculator died on me. Two problems until the end. Typed the full problem in, hit enter, and bam! No power. However, I didn't loose my cool and just finished the test.

Lunch was amazing today. Unbelievable. I knew and loved everyone at my table, and when we walked into the banquette room the tables were already plated. Every chair had a different appetizer plated to pure perfection. The plates looked like pieces of art they were so beautiful. My table, the only one that did this in the room, passed each plate around for one bite each. It was one of the best experiences. We also had a cheese plate that course. Good lunch.

English was the longest class in the world. When we got out I dressed myself up as nice as I could and me and some friends walked to the movies. Not a good idea- I would not suggest it.

Day 10

Oh how the days run together, I must make a commitment to blog everyday or else write the days down.

Today I remember was a gastronomy and food safety day. I wish I could remember every minute detail but unfortunately I do not.

I remember lunch, for it was a very memorable lunch. It made me realize as much as I love New York and the atmosphere you will always run into road blocks, or possibly speed bumps. Lunch wasn't necessarily a road block, but it was a punch to the stomach to knock the wind out of me. My lunch table was with somewhat familiar faces, however one of the faces I'd never seen before. He was a graduate who was employed by the CIA as a recruiter. He went around the table asking where people were from and talking about the different areas he travels to recruit. I laughed, preparing another ice breaker. "You never send anyone down to Oklahoma".

This ice breaker was crushed immediately. He told me there was no point to recruit in Oklahoma. I kept a smile frozen on my face expecting a joke or a laugh, anything to insinuating a tease. Nothing.

"Why are you from there?" Yes. I smiled again, maybe he just didn't understand. "I still don't change my mind." Stones filled up my stomach and my cheeks flushed with and icy chill. How was I being judged for who I was by just this one statement? I felt sick, trapped, like an animal who wasn't even given a chance.

Today I had gastronomy again, and food safety. Again the hours are fuzzy to me. I know it sounds awful that lunch is the only thing I remember but I had a good evening.

My friend Alex and I adventured to the Student Rec. Center to discuss with someone about starting a new club. He is trying to get a swing club started and I'm trying to help in anyway possible. Tonight I stayed in and caught up on sleep.

Day 9

I am working off of 5 hours of sleep. But I make it to product knowledge and another interesting day.

Today we discussed ripe fruit and vegetables. We all got to sample an under ripe pepper, a ripe pepper, an under pear, and a ripe pear. Possibly because my history about food as been so nieve that I ate under ripe things, I preferred the under ripe samples to the ripe. I thought they had more of a crisp and were sweeter- maybe I need to train my palate more. After product knowledge I enjoyed laying in my bed listening to the Guess Who- again more of the simple things in life that keep you happy.

Math was simple and writing (believe it or not) boosted my day. I still strongly cling to my opinion to feeling as though I'm in middle school when I walk through that door, but today I was complimented on something that I know I'm good at and everyone loves that too happen.

After class I decided for another simple pleasure. I haven't read all summer, something I love and miss deeply. I grabbed my Pride and Prejudice and walked down again to the ledge over looking the river and read until sunset. I walked back to my dorm, eating wild strawberries as I did, and was called over by two friends. I sat and talked to them for a long time until we gathered quite a group. Today's social was ice cones and we all grabbed one and headed back to a dorm for some music and relaxation. Yes I broke my promise again, but I feel like I deserve some a life experience and why not start now?

Day 8

Today is a little bit more memorable due to the fact its closer to the day that I'm actually updating on.

I love the days that I get to sleep in however, I truly prefer my morning classes. I feel like I don't waste half my day just waiting for classes then getting out at 8. However, today I must wait.

Today was laundry, trash, and another work out day. Lunch was great. The food, I didn't particularly enjoy, but I've never liked prime rib. I think it is an extremely over-rated piece of meat. It takes hours to cook correctly, and it half fat. The company though, were more advanced students that gave us a heads up on not only the CIA but Hyde Park. This weekend I plan on attending a farmer's market in Reinbeck (a very artsy town north of Hyde Park) on Sunday. Sometime this week I went on a hunt for a Wal-Mart and went through Reinbeck and I fell in love with it. The stores and people look very bohemian and modern in an unique mix. They also told us about the Coach Dairy Farm that sells goat cheese and lets CIA students tour the farm. I really hope to do this soon, I have to do more research.

I still have to research my externship and on campus employment- I feel like I'm so behind and it's only the first week. Finally class came by to distract me from my procrastination I promised I wouldn't let myself fall into. My gastronomy teacher is such an interesting woman. Before I get on that tangent, curiosity was driving me insane- I finally looked up the official definition of Gastronomy. According to Wikipedia: it is the study of the culture of food.

She told us a story today. Our project is to study a variety of chefs to understand our world more. Within that she told us that she was present at one of Julia Childs' birthday (she is such a humble woman- as the story progresses you learn what an important woman my professor plays in the culinary world). She explained that the celebration took place in the Rainbow Room- a place I had never heard of- but described as a beautiful circular room with a revolving circular dance floor in the center. At the head of the table was Julia Childs to her right was the chef who trained her (if I remember the story correctly), her left the president of the Rainbow Room, and his left my professor. At this party Martha Stewart walks up, rests her hand on my professor's chair and starts talking to the president, to which he responds "What do you want, Martha."
"Somebody is in my seat."
"Fuck off Martha"
In her upset state Mrs. Stewart took a step back onto the revolving floor and the president flipped a switch under his table which started the floor to revolve. My professor ended her story in her soft, elegant, English accent with "And Martha fell on her ass".

Dinner was extremely enjoyable- they had gyros at American cuisine kitchen and my mood was determined by the rest of today. (Gyros and other Greek food is my favorite food). Food safety was less exciting than the gyro. It is basically a 14 day health permit class for managers. I'll tell you that I don't want to eat ever again after that class...every day.

I also broke my promise to not go out on weeknights. Today's social event was an ice cream social and me and some friends went to see a movie in their dorm after words. It was fun, I'm trying hard.

Day 7

First of all let me apologize for getting so behind in this, I've been terribly busy. Apparently you don't slow down at the CIA.

Today I actually had a very relaxed day. Product knowledge we did our first tastings, a saturn peach- which I thoroughly enjoyed. After which I went to several different offices. I scheduled an question-answer seminar about my externship, asked about on campus employment, and checked my mail. I went back to my room and took a well deserved nap, woke up and went to lunch.

Lunch was with a friendly group but for the life of me I can't remember what we ate. I then finished a quick worksheet for math, and hopped in the class room for a social hour, and had the rest of the day to myself. I had my first full-uninterupted work out at the gym- updated my blog, then had an early night. The campus this week is holding a welcome back week, and although I'm looking forward to it, today was a junk food eating contest. I cannot bring myself physically or morally to watch such things. I don't think it's right to shove grotesque amounts of food while their are people who know what true hunger is. Also, for a culinary school who prides themselves on reusing waste and recycling I saw it as very hypocritical. But hey- live and let live. As for me, I picked up my favorite burger from Court Side Cafe, and ate it river front watching the sunset. Its the little things like this that really hit me- I'm allowed to live my own way and take pleasure in things that we take for granted.

Day 6

Today was a very interesting day, definitely one full of surprises. I woke up early today to go to church (my mother would be so proud!) and found out the service didn't start until 1. Instead I decided to go to the gym, which was pleasantly interrupted by a phone call from my father and brother. This cheered up my day dramatically. After which I did go to church. However I thought I silenced my phone and the most unlikely person called. My mother. She called me during church, if she only knew that she was the ringing in my purse during mass she would die.

I had a simple day in between. I went to lunch- had the best hamburger I've ever ate-, finished more homework, went to dinner, then was invited out to the movies. Completely last minute, but appreciated. I'm trying my hardest to be social you see and I'm glad I keep getting new chances. After the movie I went straight to bed. Pretty simplistic day but I have a feeling my weekends will be.

Day 5

Weekend!!! I got to sleep in until 10 and it felt wonderful. I took a long hot shower and (believe it or not) went back to my room to work on homework. I worked on homework from about 10-2, which seems so unGodly long when your in a dorm room. My room mate brought me up to date about last night. Apparently someone already fulfilled their college experience. We had 2 ambulances, police, the entire campus security, and a stretcher in our Hudsen Hall.

I swear there isn't much to type about on my weekend. After I couldn't take any more isolation in my dorm I went to Court Side Cafe and had an EXCELLENT sandwich. It was a turkey, bacon, cheddar, panini with a crand berry mayo. It was wonderful. Today I spent most of my day talking to Zax, and that is no exaggeration. We texted each other since I woke up, and talked on the phone from about 3-6 and then texted each other from 9- bedtime. It was wonderful. It was probably the highlight of my day.

Katelyn and I discussed how normal colleges never have their dorm doors shut and here they never have them open, and decided we would start keeping our door open, try to be a little more social. We watched a movie on our newly working t.v, when Katelyn hinted she wanted to do something tonight. I suggested we could both go to the gym together then eat dinner and she seemed to like that idea but maybe I wasn't too clear. She went to the gym without me-no biggie just blogging- and after I went to the gym didnt come back until 12. I'm not too good with this communication thing.

Day 4

Today I woke up to an alarm around 5. Sounds horrible, but it was nice. It reminded me of home.

After breakfast I went to my first class of the day, product knowledge. This professor was Italian, Jewish, and grew up in the Bronx of New York. He was loud, fun, loved eating, drinking, and life. He believed you should live for the soul and the body, not one or the other. His passion and love for food touched all of us, he had his audience hanging off his every word.

After class I realized my schedule today gave me just enough time in between classes to go back to my dorm, wonder what to do, come up with an idea, and not have enough time to do it. Lunch was exquisite today. The company was fun and the food was unbelievable. I don't try to describe every meal I eat at school because I would never get done with such a daily blog, but this meal deserves credit. The main course was pork tenderloin- the juiciest I've ever had- marinated in tobasco and orange juice(?), chirizo bread stuffing, verde sauce, a light fluffy potato cake if you will (forgive me for terminology, remember I'm just starting), and and apple-like compote. It was the clear, crispy, green, sweet flesh that reminded me of an apple but our waitress informed us that it was actually a breed of tomato. All the flavors complimented each other perfectly and was an experience to eat.

My next class of the day was Mathematics. I can't stand math but this seems to be a class of simple conversion that thankfully I still remember from my sophomore year chemistry class. The most difficult part I think I face is memorizing what is equal to what- like how many ounces are in a cup. My professor though is young and very funny. He is a very hyperactive man who jokes about everything, very interesting, and never makes you stop smiling.

At the CIA, like any other college, you can transfer credits or clep out of a class. I had all the ability to not take writing, however-if you couldn't tell- I love writing and it was one of my classes I was most looking forward to. Unfortunately it was the most disappointing. Most of my group (you stick with the same group of people that take similar classes at similar times) had gotten out of writing. There might have been 12 people in our class, and although the teacher had a doctorates I felt I was back in high school. My first project is a collage, I love creativity but honestly that project has nothing to do with my writing abilities- its a "gimmie grade". We also played 2 games to get to know people around us and were given "home work passes". My AP teachers in high school were not as kind as to give me "home work passes".

After class I decided to go swimming- to try to establish a routine for myself and NOT gain the freshman 15. However several events occured. I got an invitation to dinner (which I latched on too, I'm trying to be as non non-social as I can be) and I remembered my goggles were in my car. The student parking lot is ridiculously far from the dorms. So I changed out of my professional dress, rode my bike uphill to my car (realizing half way that it mostly could have been down hill) in the rain, grabbed my goggles, rode my back up hill to my dorm (realizing half way that is mostly could have been down hill), and got a call from my dinner buddies they were ready for dinner. I threw my professional dress back on (you cannot eat in casual clothing) and dashed to Roth Hall. By the time I got their 3 out of my 4 friends had to go to class. Luckily I had at least one familiar face to dine with. After dinner I changed into my swim suit (also realizing that my lap suit was left back home and all I had was my social, two piece) and hiked to the gym. Swimming laps in a pool, in a two piece that is a little too big in the hips is a challenge- by the way. With every stroke I hooked my thumb under my waist band to hike up my shorts- so I wouldn't moon the poor lifeguard.

After swimming I had a missed call on my phone inviting me to a movie. Unfortunately I was completely, and utterly out of cash. I have 33 cents to my name. I had to decline until I got the same invitation by another person in the group- and I retold my story. I felt horrible but one of my friends offered to pay and I swore I would pay him back and that my pay check was on the way (which it is!). A group of 3 girls and 5 guys all went to see "Funny People" and I felt like I was getting the hang of this college thing.

Everything that happens here is so big and so new- but even the little things bring me joy here. The campus is breathtakingly beautiful, and completely covered in what I thought were orange lilies. One night I came back to my dorm late- but not dark, and the petals looked snow white. I thought it was astounding and I stopped to enjoy the view for a few minutes. The next morning (this morning) when I went to class early-the sun was not up- the flowers were closed. It reminded me that everything here is alive, pulsing. Even the plant life, lives and breathes its own routine.